Choose to be Happy

Shamefully I write at 12:58am.  I know I should be in bed.  I will regret this late night when 7:15am rolls around with my little sister shouting in my ear, “WAKE UP JANA!”  The word SHOUT cannot even describe how loud that exclamation will be in six hours.  I decided that my bed was calling my name at about 10:30pm.  I ran upstairs, put on my favorite sweat pants and readied myself for sleep.  Then, I had the brilliant idea to check my email.  Which then led to me writing a few emails.  Which then led to checking out a few photography blogs, which then led to MORE photography blogs, and voila! Here I am:  2.5 hours later, my mind buzzing with thoughts and inspirations and ideas and planning.  Oh.  I exhaust myself with just thinking!  So, to calm my running thoughts, here I am writing them all down.  Hopefully I’ll be able to get some sleep after this…

I wrote about goals in my last note.  I have been thinking a lot about goals and a lot about accomplishing them.  These thoughts were all inspired by a recent letter I received from my dear sister, Abs.  Let me jot down a few lines from that beloved letter:

Jan, are you happy??  I want you to be happy.  I would do anything to make you happy.  The Lord knows what he’s doing with you.  He wants you to be happy, too.  That’s all He wants for you.  I just want you to remember—AND DON’T roll your eyes or discount this just because I’m your sister—YOU’VE GOT THE FULL PACKAGE…you’ve got it all.  I hope you’re finding ways—never mind, I know you are—but finding ways to stay happy, REALLY happy.  When I’m feeling down about myself, I make goals.  Lots of good, healthy goals!  Now’s the time to do it!

Now besides realizing I have been blessed with the most amazing, beautiful sister when reading these words, I also realized that she’s right!  Goals are a wonderful way to stay happy and feel good about myself.  And that’s why I write them and do all that I can to accomplish them.  I never consider a goal failed or unfulfilled.  If I didn’t accomplish it the first time around, I try again.  I just simply haven’t finished it…yet…but I will!  And that mind set keeps me from being down on myself. 

Are you finding ways to stay happy?

Why is it so easy to be down on yourself?  My mother and I were having a discussion recently about blogs, Pinterest, facebook, twitter, and more blogs.  There is so much information out there and so many people are accomplishing amazing things!  Everyone seems so talented these days!  My mother told me that when she was my age, people were not even THINKING to create things that my generation creates.  It really is amazing, but I am afraid it can be another way to feel down on oneself.     Look at ALL these amazing people photographing and sewing and cooking and decorating.  OH MY GOODNESS.   And then the thoughts start to creep in…I’m not good enough.  I don’t have the right equipment.  I don’t have the money I need to start a project like that.  I wish I were that original.  I’m guilty, and chances are, you are, too. 

Instead of wasting my time looking at website after website (which I have very clearly been guilty of tonight) and PLANNING to be as amazing at So and So, I need to stop worrying about being better than them, and just get out and do.  Just DO.  Be confident, and be happy.  Live my life, and not try and live another’s or compare myself to them.  I have worked the last 25 years to not compare myself to others, and goodness, it is not easy.  I’m still young and I do not want to spend the next 60 years comparing my skills and looks and abilities to those of others.

Do you have any secret tips on how to be confident?  I would love to be let in on your little secret.

My secret is to choose to be happy with what I have. 

I learned this from my mother.  When I was nine years old, I was teased a lot for my looks.  I remember being constantly teased about how big my lips and teeth were.  Truly, my mouth was too big for my face.  (Thankfully, not many pictures exist of me in this state).  One girl in particular teased me on a daily basis.  I remember coming home crying to my mom because girls told me my lips were fat.  My mother pulled out a picture book that I had and opened to a painting of a grown woman with beautiful black eyes, the perfect little nose, and huge, voluptuous lips.  I remember thinking she was stunning.  My mother then said, “Grown women pay a lot of money to have their lips as big as yours.  You’ll have beautiful lips when you’re older.”  I chose then and there to be happy about my lips.  I was still teased, but eventually, my face grew into my lips, my teeth were straightened out (read more about my adventure here) and now I laugh when I think how silly it was that girls used to tease me for having full lips.  Women really do pay to have lips like mine! But the object of this story is that you may not always be able to change how you look or be better than someone else at a particular sport or hobby, but you can choose to be happy with what you have to offer.  And I have learned that what I have to offer is often much more than I realize.  (That goes for you, too!)

So, world of stellar blogs and über accomplishments, I am not afraid of you.  I will not let you get me down.  I will be happy for other people’s accomplishments and I will be happy for my own. 

Get off the computer already and go out and do something that makes you happy!

Or go to bed.  Which is what I am about to do.